"I Eat Pieces of Shit Like You For Breakfast!"

Let me begin by apologizing for any abnormal anger that shows in my writing. Last night was a rough one to say the least. If you know me, than you know exactly what I am talking about. I recently woke up on a small couch that I don't believe

 I have ever even sat on. It was exactly like Lost when Jack wakes up on the island. For that brief moment, I had no recollection of where I was or how I got there. Thankfully a polar bear didn't eat me.

That being said, I made an interesting observation the other day that I feel compelled to share with the world. (or the three people that will read this). As I was waiting for Lost to begin, I was blessed with the opportunity to watch 15 minutes of American Idol. Disclaimer: Please don't confuse me with one of the freaks that actually follows this show. Anyway, I became particularly fascinated with the contestant known as Scott. It's not his dreamy vocals or his magestic ability to stroke the keys. Or even the fact that he is doing it will without the use of his eyes. 

It's that he looks exactly like SHOOTER MACGAVIN!

BANG BANG

How awesome is that? There are a lot of great movie villians out there, but how many of them are avid golfers? How many of them eat pieces of shit for breakfast? Probably no more than 10-20. But seriously! Look at those eyes. The chiseled eyebrows. The stupid grin. The aura of anger that surrounds their every facial feature. I love it. I wish this kid the best of luck in this worthless competition. Not enough to physically vote for him. But I mean well. I'm voting for him on the inside. So if his dream is to follow in the footsteps of superstars like Taylor Hicks, Ruben Studdard, and Clay Aiken, I say shoot away. And even if he doesn't win, at least he knows he has the opportunity for a successful film career. Look at that chump Justin Guarini from season 1. He went on to star in the hugely successful film From Justin to Kelly! That gem is currently sitting pretty at number 30 on IMDB's worst movies of all time. I would consider rewatching Troll 2 before punishing my self with this.

9% on Rotten Tomatoes!

If you happen to run into Scott, make sure he knows who is real father is. Just don't pull a Seacrest by trying to give him a high five. I'll stop ranting now. My brain is not exactly functioning at full capacity. Stay tuned for my thoughts on the fast and the furious franchise.

My thoughts exactly.