Saturday, May 30, 2009

New Late Night Doritos



Featuring Erik Steinmeyer and Jason Teresczenko.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Oxfam Signature-Watch or be Eaten



My buddy Nick's 48 hour YouTube Cannes Lions submission. I don't even believe in global warming and I support this. Great job!

The Crisaurus

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Nerd Fest: Lost Finale Observations

*Disclaimer* Very Spoilerific if you are not completely up to date. If you're not a Lost fan, don't bother reading this. It would most likely give you a brain aneurism.
My thoughts exactly.

As I mourn the season end of my favorite show, I once again find myself wondering how I am going to survive until next year. I guess it's going to be even worse after it's over. While it will be awesome to know all the answers, what the hell will I watch to fulfill this addiction. Anyway, lets start with the two new players that appear to be running the show. 

Alright were finally introduced to the long talked about island big wig Jacob. We also have the pleasure of meeting his nemesis in black who I will refer to as Anti-Jacob. It seems that they both have godlike powers and have clearly been around the island a few times. We see them awaiting the arrival of the Black Rock to the Island, which pegs them around 1845. My guess is that Richard Alpert will arrive on this ship. This would explain the reasoning behind him building a model of it an episode or two ago. 
By the end of the episode, I feel very confident in saying that Anti-Jacob is the smoke monster. While we have been hearing about Jacob for seasons now, we might have to forget most of what we previously know about him. I believe that everything that we have witnessed in the cabin relating to Jacob has actually been a show put on by Smokey. There was a gap in the ashey circle of protection around the cabin, which would allow Smokey to get in there and have some fun. It appears that the cabin did used to be Jacob's home, but something must have forced him to flee to the foot. I am going to ignore the heavy religious undertones, and present what's been given to us at face value. There is clearly a heavy egyptian influence on the show, which has been apparent since the hatch counter went below zero in season 2. The statue where Jacob resides appears to be none other than the egyptian god Sobek.

According to many of their myths, it was Sobek who first came out of the waters of chaos to create the world. Based on the evidence provided to us so far, one can make a strong argument for Jacob being Sobek in human form. While we know that Anti-Jacob is Smokey, it's hard to say exactly what god he would end up being. Many are speculating that his human form will be named Esau, which is the brother of Jacob in the Bible. More evidence to show that Jacob is Sobek was seen before Ben was judged by Smokey.

If Anti-Jacob is the monster, could this be a picture depicting the life long battle between the two? Or is this simply Anubis bowing down to the smoke monster? Ok so maybe Jacob is Sobek. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Knowing that Anti-Jacob is Smokey really makes sense of a lot of the things that have happened throughout the show. Remember Adam and Eve from the cave in season 1? They were found carrying black and white stones. I wouldn't be surprised if it ends up being Jack and Kate. Remember that crazy dream Claire had in season 1? 
Was this early foreshadowing of Locke being the ultimate weapon? I don't think we have seen the last of Claire and Aaron. After all that crap we have had to sit through about how special Aaron is, I will be pissed if he doesn't have a bigger role than crying and being stolen all the time. I think they will have some part to play in season 6 for good or evil. 

Throughout history, it appears that Smokey has been searching for his loop-hole to fulfill his ultimate goal of killing Jacob. We know that Smokey has the ability to manifest himself as dead people. But what are his limits. At first I was inclined to believe that he could only become dead people who arrived to the island, such as Locke, Christian, and Yemi (Ecko's brother). But more recently, we have seen him manifest himself as Ben's daughter Alex. Anyways, I believe that Anti-Jacob's original choice to kill Jacob was Jack. This would explain his choice in manifesting himself as Jack's father Christian. However, at the time, Jack was still the man of science, and would have never believed all that mumbo jumbo. This could have caused Smokey to turn his attention toward Mr. John Locke. This explains why Smokey never tried to kill Locke in Season 1. Clearly, everything Smokey has done up to this point has been to further his master plan of killing Jacob. I don't really know where I am going with this, other to say that I believe John Locke is the ultimate weapon to be used for either good or evil. However, once Locke was killed, it becomes clear that he could only be used for evil. Keep in mind that the people telling Locke he would have to die, were all influenced by Smokey. 
Damnit Flocke (fake Locke)

So enough about the gods, lets speculate on what happened with the hydrogen bomb. There have been two big themes throughout the show. Free will vs. Determinism has been apparent since Jack and Locke represented the opposing sides. What if most people have a pre-determined life, while a "special" few have the ability to create their own destiny. I think it's important to note that in the flashbacks where Jacob visited our main characters, the writers made an effort to show us that he touched all of them. What if he was bestowing on them the power to make their own choices? 

The newer theme that has surfaced this season is that "what is done, is done." "whatever happened, happened". Despite anyone's best efforts, they have been unable to alter the past. However, before his recent demise, Daniel Faraday predicted a way for them to alter the course of the future. Jack eventually convinced everyone that the right thing to do was detonate the hydrogen bomb, and stop the Swan incident from ever happening. Theoretically, this would mean that Oceanic 815 never crashes and everyone lives happily ever after in LA. 

So skipping ahead, Anti-Jacob achieves his long sought out goal by using Locke as a puppet to train Ben to do his bidding. At the moment it appears that Evil has destroyed Good. Wait Evil never wins. What's going on? Oh wait there is another season. What lies in the shadow of the statue? He who will save us all. Is this referring to Jacob, the carcass of Locke, or something new we haven't even seen yet? 

So Juliet miraculously survives falling down an abyss and sets off the hydrogen bomb caveman style. Now we are forced to wait a year and speculate what the hell happened to our beloved Losties. On a personal note, I hope being that close to the hydrogen bomb vaporized Juliet's soul. I wouldn't mind if that was the last I saw of her. Anyway, I believe that Faraday will end up being correct and that the bomb prevented the Swan station from ever being built. I mean seriously, if the bomb just kills everyone, that would mean Season 6 would be a shot for shot remake of Season 1. I think the new season will either open on Jack sitting on 815 in LA or with all the Losties together on the island in 2007. If they are still on the island, that would mean that oceanic 815 purposely came to the island, which is an entirely different blog post. Now that the past has been altered, none of the losties will know each other. But I think this our chance for Good to triumph over Evil. By rewriting the past and creating their own destiny, they will have a chance to save Jacob and make sure he never dies. Oh no! but no one knows each other. I believe that someone will once again convince them all to go back to the island. It sounds repetitive, but I don't believe that we have seen the last of Mr. Desmond Hume.

So if they can get everyone back to the island, I believe they will be in good shape. An important observation. Remember the experiments that Faraday was performing while at Oxford on the rat named Eloise? 
Well he was exposing her to radiation, causing her to see the future and know how to quickly solve the rat maze. What if when the Losties return to the island, the radiation from the hydrogen bomb causes the Losties to also see the future and remember everything that has previously happened. Who knows, it's just a theory. All we can be sure of is an impending war between good and evil. This war has been alluded to for awhile now, but we have been lead to believe it was between Linus and Widmore. Clearly, this is a much bigger war than anyone predicted. Hopefully not so big that it ends up being two aliens playing backgammon. I believe that Linus will end up redeeming himself and playing a huge part for the good guys. With redemption being such a major theme of the show, it only makes sense for the most evil character to end up making the sacrifice that saves everyone.

I hope some of that rambling makes sense. I need to stop thinking about this stuff for a bit. This can't be healthy. I trust that the Mr. Cuse and Lindelof will make sense of everything for us in the end. Matthew Fox stated yesterday night in his Kimmel interview that he knows what the final scenes of Lost will be. He said that we will be very satisfied and that it will end in the coolest of ways. All I can guarantee is that the writers are going to have an "incident" of their own if it doesn't.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Why I stay away from malls.

This is a short clip from my recent Dane Cook style monologue.